From the
first day I encountered Jesus ($5.00 incident in 1975),
and when I read Romans: 12:1 for the first time in my life
- 1977, I responded to offer my body as a
living sacrifice ( not quite sure what I was doing, simply
responding to God's grace).
During my
first date with Esther in January 1982, when
both of us were waiting for the car to warm up, I asked one
of the most important questions in my life: "Esther, if
you have a son and he told you that God wanted him to go to
Africa as a missionary, how would you respond?" Esther
answered, "If it is God's will then I will support him".
She passed my test and I proceeded to chase her and marry her
3 years later. I was just preparing for that day that God might
call me (and my family).
I often asked
the Lord to let me know when He called me to join His Ministry.
I started seminary studies in Spring 1994. On January
22, 1994, I was preparing for a sermon and drawing
close to God. God spoke to me through Isaiah 43:10:
"You
are my witnesses", declares the LORD, "and my servant
whom I have chosen so that you may know and believe and understand
that I am He".
When God
spoke, He left a God size imprint in my heart. This verse lingered
in my mind and in my heart for a very long time. I pondered
upon it. I had always asked God to let me know when the time
has come. Now, He spoke "Loud" and Clear and very
Direct. To me, this verse needs no further explanation: "you
are my servant whom I have chosen". I believed
He is calling me.
March
1994, we planned to visit Malaysia, Singapore and
Taiwan. I decided to make this a mission trip, especially
in Malaysia. I submitted my plan to the Lord. In December
1994, with His approval and blessing, I preached at 4 churches
and 6 fellowships in these 3 countries. In fact, I told sister
Annie that I prayed that God would let me know what I am
to do in His ministry after this 6 weeks mission trip.
February
23, 1995 while in my office, the Lord impressed
upon me that my ministry at my current job has completed.
After typing my resignation letter, I asked the Lord, "How
am I going to feed my family?" I earnestly seek for
an answer and an assurance from God.
February
27, 1995 in my devotion, as usual, I was reading
Ephesians but I was lead to go back to my calling statement
in Isaiah 43. I was taken by surprise when I read vs. 18-19:
"Forget
the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am
doing a new thing; Now it springs up;
do you not perceive it? I am making a way
in the desert and streams in the wasteland"
I laughed.
He seems to say..."Don't you understand? My son, how many
times do I need to tell you??? God is so humorous.
On March
15, 1995 while under much intense "pressure" (to
quit or not to quit), for about a minute or two, I told the
Lord that I must be either dreaming or over zealous. For
that short moment, I allowed myself to go back to my own
ways and build my own dreams. Then, I felt very empty - it
was all vanity! I came running back to God, asking Him not
to give up on me (He didn't).
What shall
it profit a man, if he gain the whole world and lost himself?
Lost his relationship with God. In touch with the perishing
world but out of touch with God! I have seen so many deaths
and even my very own precious daughter. I asked myself, "Do
I need more encouragement and persuasion to work while it is
still day (I'm alive)? Because when the night comes (when I
die), all works stop!" I was critically injured in the
car accident but I survived! As I look back how God, through
all my trials, made me, from a piece of clay (worthless) in
the Master's hand, into a vessel of His choice. I cannot help
but respond to His Love that draws me to Him.
Like everybody,
I am scared. On the morning of March 20, 1995 I
prayed, "Father, I know you have called me, and I am planning
to turn in my resignation today. Father, I am scared. Could
you let me know (one more time) for sure you want me to do
it?" In my devotion, God spoke to me in the following
verses:
Isaiah
43:4b-5a "and because I love you. I will
give men in exchange for you and people in exchange for
your life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you..."
I rejoice
in the Lord. God surely knows my weaknesses. In this decision,
my very weak faith was challenged. I had always said, advised,
and preached on the Providence on God and Matthew 6:33. Now
is the time when MY faith is tested. To say to you "believe
or trust" is one thing, but for me to "do it" is
another. This decision for ME to trust the Real and Almighty
but unseen God will affect my life, my families and many love
ones. By the grace of God, He enabled me to do so. I did it
willingly, joyfully, and cheerfully. It is my confidence in
God and in His Word. The best place to be in this world is
in God's hand. Don't you agree?
After quitting
my full-time job, I am attending seminary to be better equipped.
My plan was to be self-employed so that I can be a freelance
missionary - preach the Gospel, in my own free time
in any place I choose. However, that's not what God had in
mind.
In May 1995,
I was revived and rededicated my life to the Lord at the Young
Adults Camp. On May 28, 1995 in my devotion, the Lord spoke
to me through His word:
"Be
shepherds of God's flock that is under your care,
serving as overseers...1 Peter 5:2
My heart
jumped to my throat. I had a lot of struggles. I can't! I don't
want to. I don't look like a pastor, I don't talk like one
and not even smile like one. These words leave an impact on
me that I stopped reading. After spending time in prayer, I
said - "Lord, please tell me very straight forward if
that is your will."
The following
morning devotion, I continue reading 1Peter 5:2: "Be shepherds
of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers. not
because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants
you to be." I was speechless. I never
thought such a verse exist in the bible - I even checked other
translations and bible commentaries. With God's strength, I
obeyed. Hallelujah! This is the best thing that has happened
to me besides my conversion. To be a pastor is so rewarding!
It is such a joy to obey God.
My conclusion:
The best job in the whole world - is to serve God. The title "Pastor/Minister", "Engineer/Account", "Manager/Servant" does
not matter. We are serving the Living God! Amen! Nothing
else matters.
